K – March 14/08

I have been closer to death in the last few years than ever before.  Most vivid is the image of Jeri’s Mom avoiding, denying, battling, rallying, suffering – oh such suffering and finally an awful & painful death.

In the time that I saw her suffer and her Mom watch her and suffer, and her daughter watch her and suffer I thought that compared to your death Lord maybe hers was worse – at least longer, much longer and so full of pain.  I felt guilty even thinking this but it’s truly what I thought.

But then I came to realize, not a new epiphany by any means but a fresh reminder, that you chose death.  You knew exactly how awful it would be and yet you chose to take it on, to take our sins on, to pay a price that you so clearly did not owe.

I thought of Jeri’s Grandma, how much it hurts to see your child die, no matter what the age.  God, our Lord’s heavenly Father chose, he gave, he stood back & allowed his only son to die.

I don’t think I’m afraid of death, but I am sure afraid of suffering, of pain of losing [illegible].  But you Lord not only accepted it, You chose it.  For me.  For all.

Thank you Lord for Your unspeakable love.  Please be with all those who are suffering & dying.  Be their peace and bring them through to glory I pray.